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You’ll Need These Three Anti-Skills To Be a Great Leader in 2025

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 14:35:07 GMT

#2 is what most people find the hardest

Many leaders fall into the trap of thinking the answer to their insecurities is to do more:

I’m not sure the team are clear on what needs to happen so I’ll tell them again.
I’ve got a 1–2–1 meeting so I’ll need to do most of the talking
It’s important this is done right so I’ll do it myself

But here’s the problem:

The more you do the less effective a leader you are.

The solution is to develop your anti-skills.

A skill is when you learn how to do something in order to achieve a positive outcome; an anti-skill is learning how to not do something in order to achieve a positive outcome.

Sounds weird, I know, so bear with me.

Let’s use an example outside of work for a moment.

Imagine you want to improve your relationship with your teenage child.

A skill might be to compliment them more often.
An anti-skill might be that you resist making a sarcastic comment about their clothes or an opinion they have.

If you want to be a highly effective leader then often it’s as much about what you don’t do as what you do.

. . .

#1 Talking

It’s totally understandable that as a leader you’ll need to do a lot of talking. After all clarity of communication is essential when it comes to effective leadership at whatever level you are at.

However, it quickly becomes the law of diminishing returns when we are the ones talking too much. We all spend too much of our time talking and it usually falls into one of two categories:

Cosmetic listening — the act of ‘listening’ while doing something else such as typing on a keyboard, making dinner, scrolling on your phone. Often we aren’t even looking at the other person. We often forget what they said within minutes of the ‘conversation’ ending. We are under the illusion a conversation has taken place, they often have the perception it hasn’t.
Conversational listening — the act of ‘listening’ while actually being more interested in the voice inside our heads that’s disagreeing with what the person is saying and is already formulating a response. We miss chunks of what was said, or we make assumptions based on half-understood sentences.

The real skill is to listen and ask more questions. When we talk we only hear what we already know, when we listen and ask more questions, we hear so much more and we learn more. This is active listening.

Asking more questions also has the benefit of showing that you are interested in the other person and what they have to say. That single act builds more connection. Connection is the holy grail of communication and leadership.

When your people feel heard and understood they are more engaged. When they are more engaged you get more discretionary effort and better results. You also get more time back because you don’t need to check as much as they display more initiative and ingenuity. Who doesn’t want more time?

#2 Telling

The evil twin of talking is telling. Sure, there are times when we do need to tell people what to do. However, the more the tell the less we know, the more we create dependency. The more dependency we create, the less time we have, the less creativity and collaboration, leading to poorer results.

In ten years of working as a leadership coach and trainer, I would say that more than 70 per cent of the teams I’ve worked with have said their leaders tell too much and don’t take a coaching approach.

It tends to be down to a number of reasons including:

That’s how they more treated on their way up the ladder
They have never been shown another way
They think coaching takes too long
They think it’s all about being soft and fluffy

As we said in the first point when we talk we only learn what we already know. When we ask questions we open ourselves up to a world of what we often didn’t know. The questions become the answers.

The trick is to remain curious, not judgemental. Sadly, much of our curiosity and creativity is slowly eroded by our educational system to a fraction of what we all started out possessing.

The good news is that you can get it back, it just takes time and practice.

Start small, the more simple a question the better:

What am I assuming here?
What might I not know?
How might we do this differently?
What do you need from me to make your job easier?
What is happening for that person?
What are the barriers to you doing your job better?

Try and avoid a question beginning with the world ‘Why’ it can come across as judgemental and shuts down thinking.

#3 Taking it on yourself

Nothing kills efficiency like a bottleneck. It doesn’t take much to clog things up. Think of a motorway. Ever been stuck in a traffic jam caused by rubberneckers looking at an accident on the opposite carriageway?

Doing everything yourself is the equivalent of rubbernecking. It often comes from our insecurities which leads to micro-managing behaviours.

Get out of your own and your people’s way and let them get on with the job they are being paid and want to do.

I use the AIR model:

Authority — give them the authority to do what you want them to do and to make decisions on the way to achieving the desired outcome.

Information — share with them what information they need to know and what’s not known as well as anything else pertinent

Result — be clear about the desired result including timescales, budgets, metrics etc

Then get out of their way and let them get on with it. They may not do it the way you would, they much just do it better.

Your job as a leader is not to have all the answers, if you do you have a problem. You may be the technical expert but the team and the organisation can’t grow when you know and try and do it all.

What You Need to Know

A skill is when you learn how to do something in order to achieve a positive outcome; an anti-skill is learning how to not do something in order to achieve a positive outcome.

To be a more effective leader focus on these anti-skills:

Talking
Telling
Taking it on yourself

The Key to Unlocking Team Success: Understanding Mental Toughness Profiles in Leadership

Wed, 27 Sep 2023 14:35:07 GMT

In the realm of leadership, technical skills and managerial expertise are no longer the sole determinants of success. Today, leaders must delve deeper into the psychological aspects of their teams and understand the mental toughness profiles of both themselves and their individual team members.

By doing so, leaders can foster high levels of engagement, collaboration, and productivity, paving the way for team success. In this blog post, we will explore why it is essential for leaders to understand the mental toughness profile, utilising the 4C model of mental toughness, and the transformative impact it can have on their teams.

Defining Mental Toughness and the 4C Model

To lay the foundation for our discussion, let's first define mental toughness.

Mental toughness refers to an individual's ability to remain resilient, focused, and determined in the face of challenges, setbacks, and adversities. The 4C model, developed by Peter Clough and Doug Strycharczyk, provides a comprehensive framework for understanding mental toughness. It comprises four components: Control, Commitment, Challenge, and Confidence. Each component contributes to an individual's mental toughness and their ability to perform optimally in demanding situations.

Self-Awareness as a Leadership Cornerstone

Leadership starts with self-awareness. By understanding their own mental toughness profile, leaders gain valuable insights into their strengths, areas for improvement, and preferred leadership styles. This self-awareness empowers leaders to leverage their strengths effectively, adapt their leadership approach based on the situation, and proactively address any potential challenges that may arise. Furthermore, self-aware leaders can model mental toughness and inspire their team members to develop their own resilience and adaptability.

Driving Team Engagement through Mental Toughness

Engagement is the bedrock of a high-performing team. When leaders understand the mental toughness profiles of their team members, they can tailor their leadership strategies to maximise engagement. For instance, individuals with a higher need for Control may thrive when given autonomy and the ability to make decisions independently, while those with a stronger need for Commitment may be motivated by clear goals and a sense of purpose. By aligning leadership practices with individual mental toughness profiles, leaders create an environment that fosters engagement and nurtures the unique talents and motivations of their team members.

Nurturing Collaboration and Team Dynamics

Collaboration is pivotal for innovation and productivity within teams. However, diverse mental toughness profiles can sometimes lead to conflicts or communication gaps. By understanding the mental toughness profiles of team members, leaders can identify potential challenges and proactively bridge any gaps in understanding. For example, individuals with a higher preference for Challenge may thrive on new projects and brainstorming sessions, while those with a greater need for Confidence may require more support and reassurance. Leaders can facilitate collaboration by creating opportunities for each team member to contribute based on their mental toughness profile, fostering a cohesive and harmonious team dynamic.

Maximizing Productivity and Performance

Leadership that recognizes and supports individual mental toughness profiles has a direct impact on team productivity and performance. When team members work in alignment with their mental toughness strengths, they are more likely to be motivated, focused, and resilient in the face of challenges. Leaders can identify tasks that play to individual strengths, provide appropriate support and resources, and create a positive and empowering work environment. This, in turn, leads to enhanced productivity, innovation, and the achievement of team goals.

Personal Development and Growth

Understanding mental toughness profiles not only benefits current performance but also fosters long-term personal development and growth. By providing tailored development opportunities based on individual mental toughness profiles, leaders can help team members build their resilience, self-belief, and ability to handle stress. This investment in personal growth not only benefits the individual but also contributes to the overall strength and capability of the team.

Overcoming Challenges and Adversities

In today's rapidly evolving business landscape, challenges and adversities are inevitable. However, leaders who understand the mental toughness profiles of their team members are better equipped to navigate through these turbulent times. By identifying each team member's strengths and areas for improvement, leaders can provide targeted support and mentorship to foster resilience, adaptability, and confidence. This, in turn, enables the team to overcome challenges with a unified mindset and a collective spirit of determination.

Encouraging a Culture of Learning and Support

Leaders who prioritise understanding mental toughness profiles create a culture that values continuous learning and support. Leaders foster an environment where team members feel valued, motivated, and empowered by encouraging open communication, providing constructive feedback, and recognising individual achievements. This culture of learning and support further strengthens team bonds, encourages collaboration, and enhances overall team performance.

Leveraging Diversity and Inclusion

Diverse mental toughness profiles within a team offer a rich tapestry of perspectives, ideas, and problem-solving approaches. When leaders understand these profiles, they can capitalise on the diverse strengths and perspectives of their team members. By creating a psychologically safe space that celebrates differences, leaders foster an inclusive environment where all team members feel respected, valued, and encouraged to contribute their unique talents and insights. This inclusive approach not only enhances collaboration but also leads to more innovative solutions and better outcomes.

Conclusion

Understanding the mental toughness profiles of both leaders and team members is an essential aspect of successful leadership. By delving into the 4C model of mental toughness, leaders gain valuable insights that allow them to adapt their leadership approach, foster engagement and collaboration, maximise productivity, and support individual growth.

Embracing this knowledge empowers leaders to create an environment that nurtures the potential of each team member, propelling the team towards success and achievement of shared goals.

As leaders embrace the power of understanding mental toughness profiles, they unlock the true potential of their teams and set the stage for a thriving and prosperous future.

What happens when you connect the dots of stress, mindset and values

Mon, 18 Sep 2023 14:35:07 GMT

What happens when you connect the dots of stress,

mindset and values

Behavioural and neuroscience research is turning how we think about and deal with stress on its head. By helping employees re-think their approach to stress companies can improve wellbeing, confidence & performance of their people.

Resilience has become a buzz word in recent years both in and outside of the workplace. Yet it means different things to different people. The most common definition from employees we see is ‘the ability to bounce back’.

It’s worth taking a moment to clarify what we mean by resilience. Resilience is a facet of the wider concept of mental toughness and the 4Cs model (Control, Commitment, Confidence and Challenge) as defined by Clough & Strycharczyk.

Resilience is made up of Control and Commitment – the ability to control our emotions and

the ability to commit to our goals and purpose.

In lay terms, it’s the ability to achieve whatever we set out to do by controlling how we deal

with the bumps along the road.

The good news for companies and employees is that resilience can easily be measured and

developed. Research over the last few years has shed light on how mindset and values play a

significant role in a person’s ability to deal effectively with long term stress that is a part of

modern working life.

The old saying: ‘If you can beat them, join them,’ is very apt when it comes to the new

approach to dealing with stress. To date, stress interventions have largely focused on

avoidance strategies. This is often impossible, as much of what causes us to feel stressed is

beyond our control and is sometimes what we value most.

Stress is what happens when something we care about is at stake. By embracing the fact that

we do care about whatever is the source of stress also becomes the best way of dealing with

it. The amount of stress one faces isn’t a predictor of how well we’ll deal with it.

Research is now proving that the biggest single predictor of how we fare under stress is our

beliefs around it.

To improve our ability to deal with stress we first need to change our mindset about the

source of the stress. The prevailing view of stress has been that it is detrimental to both our

short-term performance and long-term health. Stress has been shown to adversely affect our

cognitive performance and immunity but it’s now also being shown to enhance immunity,

simply by changing our mindset.

A study conducted by Prof. Alia Crum from Harvard University of 400 people from an

international financial institution, found that those that had a 'stress-is-enhancing mindset'

demonstrated better health, life satisfaction and better work performance than those that had a

stress-is-debilitating mindset.

A subset of those 400 people was also shown a series of three-minute videos over the course

of the following week. These videos illustrated either the stress-is-enhancing view or stress-

is-debilitating. Those that watched the stress is enhancing videos demonstrated significant

increases in well-being and work performance.

Another study also demonstrated that people with a 'stress is positive' mindset, used

productive strategies to deal with stress rather than negative avoidance strategies.

The good news for everyone is that changing our mindset is a relatively easy, quick and long-

lasting thing to do. Numerous studies show that simple, quick and relatively cheap tools such

as videos, short e-courses and writing have a powerful and long-lasting effect on mindset and

the ability to deal with stress, thereby enhancing our resilience.

In simple terms, stress is bad because we think it is. If we can show employees a different

way to view and use stress - a growth mindset (Carol Dweck) - we can help build their

resilience.

Building resilience in the face of stress can more powerful when we connect the source of

stress to the values that are important to us or the company.

The more meaningful the work we are engaged in often the more stressful it is – because we

care about it. But conversely, the more stress we can cope with effectively because we care

about it. A meaningful life is often stressful life. This is the stress paradox.

When we can identify and connect our purpose with the source of stress we become more

positive and enthusiastic. It helps takes us out of the moment and gain some perspective on

the source of stress and stop us from being swallowed up by negative emotions.

Companies, managers, supervisors that can help every person answer the question – ‘What is

the reason I do the work I do?’ – and find personal meaning in that answer will see lower

levels of stress and improved performance.

The challenge for HR, leaders, and managers is how to get their people to connect their

personal values with those of the company and the work they do. To identify the bigger

impact the business has and the good each person does through their work.

Facilitating this clarity will support their people to perform under pressure and be more

resilient through the tough times.

This requires a holistic approach encompassing the senior leadership, HR and

communications teams.

How can your organisation help employees connect the dots between stress, mindset and

values?

This article appeared in the November 2017 edition of HRDirector magazine (#157).